How much?

‘How much is it worth?’

‘It’s invaluable.’

The Post Office clerk frowned. ‘What’s its price?’

‘It’s priceless.’

The clerk looked unconvinced. He lifted the brown package from the scale. ‘What is it?’

‘A work of art.’

The clerk turned the package in his hands. ‘It feels like a book to me.’ 

‘It’s a masterpiece.’

‘Really?’ Conscious of the lengthening queue of increasingly impatient customers, the clerk tried a different line of questioning, ‘how much did it cost you?’

‘Three year’s hard endeavour, a lifetime of thwarted dreams, countless false starts and numerous rejections.’

‘Look Sir, I need a value for insurance purposes. The cost of the insurance is proportionate to the value of the item. If you want me to record it as invaluable, then it will cost you hundreds, if not thousands, of pounds to send.’

‘Ah, okay. £8.99.’

‘Thank you, Sir. If you don’t mind saying, that sounds like a bargain. For a work of art.’

‘I couldn’t have put it better myself.’

February 2022

Lesson learnt

I had a good learning experience last week. Good as in the learning, not the experience; the  experience was traumatic.

I learnt it’s inadvisable to go out on a bike in a major storm. I was travelling at some speed when a gust of wind blew me off the road. For a fleeting moment I was like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang before being smashed into a concrete bollard. If an Act of God, it was a pretty vengeful one.

I was battered and bruised; the bike even more so (£200+ repairs). To look on the bright side, the way I was lifted like a feather suggests my weight loss programme might be working.

February 2022